Stay Signed In
Do you want to access your site more quickly on this computer? Check this box, and your username and password will be remembered for two weeks. Click logout to turn this off.
Stay Safe
Do not check this box if you are using a public computer. You don't want anyone seeing your personal info or messing with your site.
On the first day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: A big massive 20p!
On the second day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Vouchers for JJB!
On the third day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Proper Bo Burberry!
On the fourth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Burgers from Maccy D!
On the fifth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: FIVE SOVREIGN RIIIIIINGS!!!
On the sixth day of crimbo, I went back to Maccy D... 'Coz it was BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!
On the seventh day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Seven rave CDs!
On the eighth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Eight trackie bottoms!
On the ninth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Nine pairs of Nikes!
On the tenth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Ten bus tickets!
On the eleventh day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Eleven parmasans!
On the twelth day of crimbo, my girlfriend gave to me: Twelve Bling-Bling chains!
(So, all together it goes)
Twelve Bling-Bling chains,
Eleven parmasans,
Ten bus tickets,
Nine pairs of Nikes,
Eight trackie bottoms,
Seven Rave CDs,
BUY ONE GET ONE FREE,
FIVE SOVREIGN RIIIIIIIIIINGS!
Burgers - Maccy D,
Burberry,
Vouchers JJB,
AND A BIG, MASSIVE 20p!
1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit
2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted
3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs!
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin'at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police
12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar.
13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please
14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand
15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A
16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4
17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.
18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll screw anything!
19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.
20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, "That's some uvver geezers job innit."
21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash
22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.
CHAV AID !!
Its christmas time
you all better be afraid
at christmas time
were stealing stuff doing ram-rades
and in the world of burberry
just makes me laugh with joy
throw your arms around a chav
at christmas time.
Just say your prayers
coz im gunna steal from you
at christmas time
i'll buy my bird stuff from lizzie jukes.
Theres a chav outside my window
and hes threatening to come in
and the only water flowing
is his cheepo white lightning
and the ringing on the doorbell
claiming they are going carol singing,
well tonight thank god its me
instead of you.
And theres no one safe in shopping centres
this christmas time
coz me and all me gang
have just got knives
our clothes are all knock off
and we really hate those goths
Back To Home Page
